10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER TO SAY TO AN INFERTILE MYRTLE

1. "Relax, just stop thinking about it.”
Oh, that's all it takes? Hallelujah! Thank you doctor. So next time I have the flu, or break my leg, or end up with cancer, I will just stop thinking about it so that it will cure itself... SIKE!

2. "Why don't you just adopt?"
Why haven't I thought of that?! Do we just go to the children store and pick out a child, swipe my debit card, "Paper or Plastic", load them up, and take them home? It's that easy? Absolutely not. If so, I would have a house full. Adoption is a long, expensive, and difficult process. And what is wrong with wanting to carry a child, my child, my husband's child? When the time comes, and God tells me to adopt, I will, but for now... I will keep trying. Why don't you just go adopt.

3. "You're still young... you have time."
I guess I forgot to download that app on my phone. Is it called "Baby Timer App"? Does it tell me exactly when I am supposed to have a child and exactly when I'm too late? Is it a free app?

4. "I have plenty, they drive me crazy, you can have one."
Say it again, and I will snatch your child up and take them home with me. Joking about this isn't funny. Don't throw it in my face that you can get pregnant easily and I can just "have" one of yours because you're tired of them. What a heartless comment.

5. "God has a plan for you."
Wow. Am I speaking to the angel Gabriel? Did he send you specifically to me to tell me that? No? Ok then please don't tell me what I already know. No matter how genuine you're trying to be.

6. "You're going to end up being Octomom."
Comparing a regular person who seeks fertility treatment to Nadya Suleman is like comparing someone who is having marital problems to the girl sleeping with her step-father that you saw on the Jerry Springer Show. Congratulations on your ignorance.

7. "You should do it (insert any sexual position you can imagine)  it worked for me."
Thank you for that awful mental picture of you and your husband naked. Gag.


8. "Yall just need a break."
Been there. Done that. Moved to another state. Stopped "trying". Relaxed. Didn't work. Next.

9. "I understand what you're going through, we've been trying for 4 months."
Yes... 4 months and 4 years are the same thing. Oh wait...

and my favorite...

10. "Fertility treatment is playing God. It's a sin."
Condemning me for trying to have a family is a sin. Punching you in the face is a sin. But if you come to me with this awful comment, I will definitely smack you. Hard! Tell that to any woman who has conceived while doing fertility treatments. Tell her that her child is a sin. Or that her child was conceived in sin. She will smack you. I could go on about this subject but I will save that for another day.


The only thing you really need to tell any woman, man, or couple struggling with infertility is: "I'm sorry for your struggle. I'm praying for you." We don't expect you to have the answers. Just being a friend with a hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen is enough.

Our Story...

The Short Story: (updated Feb 2015)

At the age of 20, I (Jill) met my now husband (Daniel). He has been the best thing to ever happen to me- the love of my life - my best friend - my soul mate. After 4 years and 1 day of dating, we got married. We became a family of 2 and decided to have children right away. We wanted nothing more than to begin our own family. We knew (with my history of reproductive issues) that it may be a struggle, but it shouldn't take that long, right?

And so began our journey...  After counting days and tracking months, seeing multiple doctors and meeting several new specialist, running test after test, taking every pill and injection you could imagine, ovulation test and pregnancy test, having several procedures and multiple inseminations, it was taking longer than we thought... 3 years longer than we thought. We were worn out. Mentally and physically. "Trying" was no longer fun, and all the while, everyone around us was easily getting pregnant. Ouch.

Heartbroken is an understatement.
Devastated is an understatement.
I was broken.

We decided enough was enough. I was not in a good place. I deleted social media, deleted my previous blog, and lost all hope... So with that- I quit. We were officially on a break.

We packed up and moved to Florida in 2012. Sand, sun, relaxation. No doctors, no counting days, no timed intercourse. Just enjoying life. "It'll happen when you least expect it and when you quit trying"... or so they said.

Well, after 18 months of "not trying" we moved back home in Mississippi in Sept 2013 and were still childless. We underwent a few more treatments and even had our hopes up pretty high at one point. I mean, we just knew we were pregnant before we even did the treatment. What a bummer. No baby. But we just knew it was about to happen for us. We felt it.

In May 2014, still no baby. Money ran tight and we were stuck. Again. So we "tried" on our own. If God wanted us to have a baby, we would have a baby. He is the miracle creator. He alone.

Here we are, February 2015! No baby... Though, we are not without faith anymore. After multiple miscarriages, God has shown himself to me more now than ever. He has given us the desire. We have decided to proceed with adoption! We still have 1 paid for fertility treatment left. So, we want to want to try again. He (again) has restored in me my mustard seed of faith. So as we begin the process of adoption and our last shot at getting pregnant ourselves, we know our family will happen in His time. And until then, we do what we feel He is leading us to do, and we wait, and we pray...

This is where our story picks up...