10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER TO SAY TO AN INFERTILE MYRTLE

1. "Relax, just stop thinking about it.”
Oh, that's all it takes? Hallelujah! Thank you doctor. So next time I have the flu, or break my leg, or end up with cancer, I will just stop thinking about it so that it will cure itself... SIKE!

2. "Why don't you just adopt?"
Why haven't I thought of that?! Do we just go to the children store and pick out a child, swipe my debit card, "Paper or Plastic", load them up, and take them home? It's that easy? Absolutely not. If so, I would have a house full. Adoption is a long, expensive, and difficult process. And what is wrong with wanting to carry a child, my child, my husband's child? When the time comes, and God tells me to adopt, I will, but for now... I will keep trying. Why don't you just go adopt.

3. "You're still young... you have time."
I guess I forgot to download that app on my phone. Is it called "Baby Timer App"? Does it tell me exactly when I am supposed to have a child and exactly when I'm too late? Is it a free app?

4. "I have plenty, they drive me crazy, you can have one."
Say it again, and I will snatch your child up and take them home with me. Joking about this isn't funny. Don't throw it in my face that you can get pregnant easily and I can just "have" one of yours because you're tired of them. What a heartless comment.

5. "God has a plan for you."
Wow. Am I speaking to the angel Gabriel? Did he send you specifically to me to tell me that? No? Ok then please don't tell me what I already know. No matter how genuine you're trying to be.

6. "You're going to end up being Octomom."
Comparing a regular person who seeks fertility treatment to Nadya Suleman is like comparing someone who is having marital problems to the girl sleeping with her step-father that you saw on the Jerry Springer Show. Congratulations on your ignorance.

7. "You should do it (insert any sexual position you can imagine)  it worked for me."
Thank you for that awful mental picture of you and your husband naked. Gag.


8. "Yall just need a break."
Been there. Done that. Moved to another state. Stopped "trying". Relaxed. Didn't work. Next.

9. "I understand what you're going through, we've been trying for 4 months."
Yes... 4 months and 4 years are the same thing. Oh wait...

and my favorite...

10. "Fertility treatment is playing God. It's a sin."
Condemning me for trying to have a family is a sin. Punching you in the face is a sin. But if you come to me with this awful comment, I will definitely smack you. Hard! Tell that to any woman who has conceived while doing fertility treatments. Tell her that her child is a sin. Or that her child was conceived in sin. She will smack you. I could go on about this subject but I will save that for another day.


The only thing you really need to tell any woman, man, or couple struggling with infertility is: "I'm sorry for your struggle. I'm praying for you." We don't expect you to have the answers. Just being a friend with a hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen is enough.